Spring 2021 - Championships
The tension had been mounting for weeks and the narrative had remained consistent throughout: it seemed inevitable that Carreau-No-Virus and Panchito would be facing off in the Spring Pétanque League Championship. Singles week changed nothing; these two were on a collision course and the clock was ticking. The League Commissioner announced the matchups in his weekly missive but no one seemed to need the reminder. Calendars were marked and the pétanque faithful were eager to do battle.
The threat of rain would be no match for our date with destiny and as the day wore on, it looked for certain that the clouds were parting and a new champion would be crowned for the ages. And, then, it rained…and rained…and rained. The heavens had intervened and the courts lay submerged under a pool of nature’s tears, reflecting back only the flickering mirage of what might have been. No, there would be no pétanque on this day.
The weather was perfect, however, for a little splétanque and right as rain, a few faithful trickled in, the sickest of the sickos, no longer certain of where to go and what to do on a Tuesday without some boules. Aaron, Dana, and Adam, unfazed by the conditions, came right out of the gate and delivered a 13-4 beating, including a “double carreau” illustrating why it is usually best to shoot the front ball first. But, this team (well, one of us at least) celebrated the early V with a little too much wine and Ernesto, Jess, and Adam M. (a Fall League sicko) were not impressed. They took the next two in convincing fashion and sent a certain someone home to hang his head in shame rather than show his face at Judy’s…
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A week later the weather was perfect for the occasion — clear skies, great tunes, new-friends-turned-good-pals, and a dash of cutthroat do-or-die competition. What could possibly be better? The league championships are always a special day. Old stats and records go out the window and teams have the opportunity to re-write the story of their season.
It is quite literally a whole new ballgame and everything is on the line…this is for all the marbles, the whole enchilada…teams have got to put up or shut up, walk the walk…ok you get the idea.
In the consolante bracket, Team Won had been gelling all season and solidifying their position as the “fun team”, perhaps to the detriment of their team record. They missed the concours by a hair and seemed to have the momentum and chemistry to slice through some triples matches and tack their names on the trophy. In their way, Boules Deep, a team that has had to scratch and claw their way through the season, losing more games than their point differential suggested was just, and serving as a stepping stone to every other team in the league — not to mention the rhetorical butt of every joke, every week on this very blog. Well, apparently, Boules Deep had had enough and Team Won was just having too much fun. In the opening round, Kate, Jess, and Woody scored a 12-8 victory while Anna, Debra, and Brendan made it 2-0 with a 10-7 performance. Going into the last two games of the night, there was no margin for error. It looked as though the tides might turn and head into overtime as Ernesto, Paul, and Nina put up a clutch 13-7 performance and Derek, David, and Trish put up a 4 spot in the penultimate round of the final match
But, their hopes were quickly dashed in the final frame as Jess, Brendan, and Debra sealed the deal in the rookie frame, each turning in a solid 2-0 evening and securing their place on the trophy. Henceforth, let it be known: if you fuck with Boules Deep, you’re in deep, deep trouble.
In the concours bracket, Carreau-No-Virus was the darling of the league. A garrulous bunch with a seemingly endless roster of rookie-of-the-year candidates. They had been winning in bombastic fashion all season long and were beginning to hold their heads a little higher than everyone else around the courts. If this were high school, one might even picture them walking around the lunch room with their letter jackets, talking to each other about how cool they are, and pouring chocolate milk on some kid’s head because he, well, plays pétanque. On the other hand, Panchito was a sleeper contender all season long. While other teams were showing off or talking about how fun they are or having a few too many drinks at Judy’s, they were quietly, methodically taking care of business week in and week out. Two great teams, two totally different styles. This writer was eager to find out exactly what happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object?
In the first round, Joel, Jim, and Kyra delivered a quick and decisive blow, logging a 13-1 final score in less than half the time allotted. But, Panchito held their own in the second half of the frame, winning 13-6 on the strength of all-around solid play from Garrison, Tori, and Sam. Heading into the second round, the stars seemed to be aligning for an overtime all-rookie sudden death match but in a stunning turn of events, Panchito got off to strong, early leads in both final games and held on relentlessly as C-N-V appeared to collapse from the pressure. Bill, Nicolas, and Tori scored a 13-6 win while Anne, Sophie, and Sam nailed the coffin shut with a 11-3 masterclass in pointing. All season long, the question has been lingering in the air, waiting for an answer. When will the vaccine be ready? And how long will it take to reach herd immunity and put an end to Carreau-No-Virus once and for all? Well, it turns out that slow and steady wins the race. It only took six weeks of league play and a loyal underdog who goes by the name Panchito.
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Spring 2021 Champion: Panchito
Spring 2021 Consolante: Boules Deep
Rookie of the Year: Adam Pepperman
Intermedio of the Year: Paul Richardson
Coach of the Year: Kasia Sliz
Pétanque Sicko: Debra Keneally
